I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
