was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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