I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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