she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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