how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
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how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
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