yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
