i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he was CRYING into my vagina
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
ttyl tear gas
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
