Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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