so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
