who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
