If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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