how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
