And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
