we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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