I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
