I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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