My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
