you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize