you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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