he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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