It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
