people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
