I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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