some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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