i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
