I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
