Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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