This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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