you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
