Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
