just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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