Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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