K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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