Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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