you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
