i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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