I got chris browned last night
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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