my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
