Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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