I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
