Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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