It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
