My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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