oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm way too hungover for life right now