The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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