marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.