Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?