you guys were way drunker than both of me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Someone came in the potted fern
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza