his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.