I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.