I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
