a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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