I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
