I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
