sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
