glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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