i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
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Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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