is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
