you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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