PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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