it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
