how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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