also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
what day is it and did you see me today?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
