I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
