About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
